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Almost Dead

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University. Murder. The Plymouth mob. A typical twenty-year-old student who fills his days by watching films, avoiding work and trying to achieve level 10 membership in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles internet forum. He accidentally kills someone and subsequently goes on the run from Plymouth’s organized crime group. Against the backdrop of life at university, the hapless student tackles events beyond his control and adventures which take him up to Dartmoor and back, around a theme park and into the central headquarters of a nationwide terrorist organization.

He is pursued at every turn by a Robert Carlisle impersonator and his employer who tours the local fast food establishments with a Zippo lighter and an unhealthy knowledge of how to cause a man pain. With no clue what to do and no time to do it within, the bungling student must find a way to escape his predicament and return to the peace and serenity of his unremarkable existence.

Almost Dead is a light-hearted, dark-humored thrilling

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Carmelo Santos


Betty Simons


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